I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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