Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
