Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
