yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
