can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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