Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
