Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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