Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
