shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
