he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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