His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize