Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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