What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i love accidental penises.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
