is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
