Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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