Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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