UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He? As in you personified your dick?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
