we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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