He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
