I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
