If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
