I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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