I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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