Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize