if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Randomize