Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
