Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
