We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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