is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
