then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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