So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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