so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
