just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
