Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
