broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
