So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
