I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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