You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well I just put wine in my tea
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize