so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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