I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
