They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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