love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
