But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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