i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
