you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
