Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
