How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
