There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
