any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
