its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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