i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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