i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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