PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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