I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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