he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
