Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
