sarcasm needs its own font
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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