Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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