Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
