Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Found the puke drawer
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
