grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
