Got a toothbrush?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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