We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
