you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
