this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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