her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
