Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
